It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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