ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
