Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
