im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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