I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Randomize
