Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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