I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
