If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
