when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize