been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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