my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
