just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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