I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
