I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
