I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
