Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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