he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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