Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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