do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
