I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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