How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
