physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
