it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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