you have to choose: penises or morals?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
