pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
