he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize