So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
These tits shall not be calmed
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
