yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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