I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
