No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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