is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
