you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
