we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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