One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
