We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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