I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
