Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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