i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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