Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
