You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
