erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
