You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
