Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
