I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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