why didn't you poke me back
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
