Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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