I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
