hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
