i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do vagina's smell?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Help me help you realize you are a moron
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize