3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
