his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
