The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize