What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
