I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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