i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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