I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
